Thursday, February 21, 2008

I call him TimTim

Careful readers will recall that I received a TomTom from Husband for Valentine's Day after shamelessly begging for one for months.

I was planning on programming it with a female voice. We were going to be girlfriends, and she was going to direct me to my destinations in a nondirective way. But then clever blogger Jordan pointed out that there is a very nice British male voice available by the name of Tim.

I was determined that I had to have him, even if it meant logging into the TomTom website and pretending I was a resident of the U.K. so I could download him, which really taxed my technological capabilities. But I have him now, the object being to feel like I have

him ordering me about in my car. Probably not what Husband had in mind, but I was very pleased. "Turn right," Clive TimTim would say, and I would.

Until this morning, when we had sort of a falling out. It was my morning to drive carpool to Sophie's school, which is about 25 minutes from our house in a rural redwood-forested canyon. We were in trouble right off the bat. He told me to go right, and I went left. I disobeyed!! This apparently floored him. He was speechless for several minutes, the display on the screen looking like I was driving into oblivion. The carpool kids loved it. "You've ditched him!!!" Hence, the name of our new carpool game: Ditch TimTim. Better than Twenty Questions any day. But TimTim rebounded. After a minute or so he found us, and proceeded with a new set of instructions from where we were, ignoring the fact that I had blown him off only moments before. But I could not contain myself—I disobeyed again, and again, and AGAIN. And it was fun to see how long it took him to find me after each time.

Turns out that whereas I'm sure TimTim is quite the man on city streets, he's pretty lame in rural areas. He doesn't know, for example, that a road that is usually part of the quickest route to school has been covered by a mudslide for months. Or that taking a different freeway offramp than what he recommends avoids shopping district traffic. The kids would have loved his instruction to me on the way home from school: "Turn around as soon as possible." I did not, and it took him the longest ever to find me, give in, and agree to my way.

Our verdict: Not very useful for this drive, but enormously entertaining. But I'm not mad at him and am still thinking about buying him a cute little outfit, which he will wear because I say so.

17 comments:

Kate said...

Well, with the Clive Owen pic up there - I think you should change him name from Tim-Tim to Yum, Yum, Yum!

Sabina said...

and the hidden dominatrix emerges!

kristenspina said...

We had a similar funny ride with one of these yesterday in my girlfriend's car. Sadly, no British accent, but plenty of annoying and inappropriate demands to turn here and there.

I love the "outfit" though. If I had a Tim Tim, I would definitely dress him in pink as well.

Kate said...

Oh, he WILL look fabulous in pink!

Krista said...

haha! I so have to get an accent for mine because currently she is a snotty American.

Jen Yu said...

Clive Owen is such a hottie. Nice choice. I tagged you with a bleeping meme:

http://jenyu.net/blog/2008/02/21/getting-around/

It's outta my hands now!

Libby said...

Sabina is so right! Clive *sigh* he would look great in pink. :)

The Wife said...

I think TimTim will look hot in pink!

The Mrs. said...

What a great post. Thought I was in the car with you!!!

The Mrs. said...

Ps I tagged you on my site!

Jordan said...

I'm so glad you like Tim!! Isn't his voice awesome? He's helping me immensely in San Francisco this week and I've already got him programmed for my drive to the SCERTS conference tomorrow in Redwood City - helps me figure out how much time to allow. I too love to disobey - it's pretty impressive how fast it can reconfigure the route, isn't it? My kids go NUTS when we disobey, though. They get a little nervous, poor things.

Britt said...

Yes! We have the same issues with our British Tomtom...I get so annoyed when he's saying (so politely!)"Turn around NOW!"

Jackie said...

I have Garmin and her voice makes people who ride with me cringe. Maybe I can find my own version with your/Jordan's helpful ideas.

ElleBee said...

Too funny! We are the happy owners of a Tom Tom as well, but The Husband has some weird female voice programmed. Thankfully, he's chosen not to name her. My parents have a Magellan, whom they refer to as "Madge". Much more familiar than their previous GPS, known as "Mrs. Garman".

KatieGirlBlue said...

Heeheehee...reminds me of TIM the Enchanter. "You can call me...Tim..."

Good luck navigating. With the Brit giving directions, maybe it would help if you drive on the other side of the road....

Belle in Bloom said...

Oh, Clive. (swooning)
I'm sold. Where do I get one?
(hee-hee)

Beth G. said...

Hilarious! And who wouldn't love a little Clive along in the car!!