I set out with the idea that my blog would document only all that is wonderful in my life (like, you know, figs, lavender, and cheese), but now that I've broken that with my revelation that I earned my scooter accident by being an evil little shit of a person by thinking uncharitable thoughts, the floodgates are open. There's more that's bad. And it just needs to come out.
It's about Husband. He is usually a truly wonderful, kind, and generous guy, except when he is not. Behold the note he presented to me at breakfast a few weeks ago following what he termed "A Rampage of Badness" on my part:
Allow me to explain. He often starts complaints by saying "Someone [did something, did not do something, etc.]," and someone is almost always me. This list documents the fact that on this occasion I
1. Left the bathroom door open when I went to bed, so the heat from the electric radiator, which is on a timer, escaped, leaving the bathroom cold in the morning. We heat our house with a woodstove, so cold is a big issue around here.
2. Loaded wood into said woodstove from the top instead of from the front door and placed wood too close to the front of the stove, so that when he opened the front door, hot embers fell out.
3. Did something wrong concerning batteries for the digital camera. I can't even remember what my offense was here, but whatever it was, I'm sure I did it.
4. Came in late from my book group and woke him up. The underlying issue is that he was cross I was out so late.
OK, very funny, right? Except for the fact that he was not at all kidding. These were serious offenses he wanted to discuss with me, an "I'm sorry, I'll try not to do that again" being insufficient.
But here's the kicker: When I objected to this discussion (read: his rant), he replied, "But if I can't point these things out to you, how can you improve?" IMPROVE??? He wants me to improve. As if I am not the most kick-ass wife he could ever hope for. Seriously. This man does no grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, or carpool driving. He is served a home cooked meal (with enough for his lunch leftovers) made from organic! fresh! locally grown! ingredients almost every godamned night. With freshly ironed cloth napkins! And dirty clothes mysteriously disappear and reappear clean in his closet and drawers. Parties, entertaining, holidays? That's me too. All I require is that he show up. And is he impressed with or supportive of the fact that I work my butt off as the president of my daughter's school's P.T.A.-like organization? He is not. He would rather I remain at home perfecting my homemaking skills with military precision. Well, I have news for him. THIS IS AS GOOD IT'S GOING TO GET. In fact, over the years it may well become worse. I would love to improve, but I am too damned tired and too damned old. And I have other things to do.
Even thought this happened a couple of weeks ago, the subject arose again because the other night as I lie in bed in excruciating pain following my accident, he lit into me for violating (again! for the second time!) item #2. What do you think? I think he needs to improve. RIGHT NOW.