Thursday, June 11, 2009

Letters written, not sent

Dear [Wonderful] School After Care workers,

Sophie brings to my attention that she was recently disciplined for using the words crap and hell. I object on the grounds that these are not, as you claim, swear words. They are not, for example, included in George Carlin's list of words you cannot say on television (for your reference: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock sucker, mother fucker, and tits). And if they're good enough for television, they're good enough for your program. Kidding.

But seriously, whereas these words may not constitute refined language, you are not running a charm school. I've worked hard to teach Sophie to use her mouth, not her fists, to express her feelings. And whereas I would not expect you to permit words used to hurt another (e.g., "Go to hell, Oliver!"), I think using certain words as expletives is fine (e.g., "Oh, hell," which is, I think you would agree, preferable to "Oh, fuck" and infinitely more satisfying than "Oh, sugar"). 

I would therefore like you to reconsider your policy in this area. Perhaps a list of words forbidden under any circumstances and another list of words forbidden  only in certain circumstances.

Thank you for your consideration.

Best regards,
Mom of Sophie

Dear Sophie,

The After Care Program at school brings to my attention the fact that I am not in charge of the After Care Program. I do not, therefore, determine the rules for the program. Because it is their program. Not mine. And so they make the rules. They are happy to have my feedback but remind me that I should pick my battles wisely. 

So I think we should go along with the After Care language rules. That is not to say to you should not question whether a rule is right or wrong and whether it makes sense or not. As long as you keep thinking, you're a winner to me. 

And don't worry—we can still use all the other words when we are in the car. 



five tomatoes said...

I kind of want you to send the first letter. ;)

ANFQ said...

I like when my kids come home and question stupid rules, too. How do you like these:

"The third grade teachers have asked that we not be taught multiplication this year [second grade] because they want to teach it to us next year."

Or how about:

"The books in the School Independent Reading Program read during the summer don't count because you have to take the related online test WHILE IN THE SCHOOL BUILDING."


Kate said...

You are such a great mom:)

Aimala said...

Sophie is one lucky little girl. And your letter to the program cracked me up! You make a really good point also.


KatieGirlBlue said...

Hmm...I didn't know you sent Sophie to Mormon school.

Why they limit language use is beyond me; nothing makes me want to say something more than being told not to do so.

You could play the tourettes card....

More, More, More said...


adozeneggs said...

That's funny. I once made heart shaped cookies with the 7 dirty words on them.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to fit "cocksucker" and "motherfucker" on a 2 inch cookie? Written in icing??
Sophie is a smart girl and I think your absolutely right.