Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I'm insane, right?

Or maybe just sort of stoopid. Because the other week I sent out an Evite invitation to my daughter's eighth birthday party to FORTY CHILDREN. And their parents. And any younger siblings who want to come. The festivities are scheduled for this Friday evening ("At night!! At NIGHT!!!! she keeps reminding everyone).

This scheduled disaster is admittedly one largely of my own making. Allow me to explain by reviewing past birthday spectacles.

At five we went to a children's art studio, and I inadvertently made a cake resembling the Oakland Mormon Temple.

For six we went to a children's magic and comedy show (funny only to those under the age of seven or eight, which everyone who mattered was), and I pulled out the requested pirate ship cake.

See those canons firing out of the side of the cake? Skinny candles stuck in Rollos. I know, brilliant.

Last year for seven, Sophie generously agreed to scale things down a bit and invite only the girls in her class and a few other friends. The theme was Fancy Ladies' Tea. The girls decorated straw hats (a steady stream of cosmos convinced my girlfriends to stay and staff the glue guns); played freeze dance to the Scissor Sisters; dined on petit fours, miniature eclairs, and heaven knows what other small fancy things I whipped up; and smacked a pinata around. Partial amnesia has mercifully set in, but I do know that not a single piece of my MIL's Spode china was broken.

My sister claims that as kids get older, the parties get smaller, but we see no sign of this at the House of Figs. This year Sophie insists on inviting not only everyone in her K-1-2 class but everyone in 3-4-5 as well. Plus family friends. As much as I admire her generous little spirit and am happy that she does not want to exclude anyone, I almost threw up as I pulled the trigger on that Evite invitation.

So here's what we've got planned: Noticing how cool the little kids think the 6-7-8 class's dances are, I thought, why not have a dance for little kids? A regular disco inferno. Not at my house, of course. I'm borrowing the school's multipurpose room, I've got one of the dads who is a professional dj doing the music, and my spin teach is loaning me a real disco ball. I'll feed the kids a little pizza, have some dancing, serve some cake, and then they can all go home. 

You would think from my past birthday extravaganzi that this would be a walk in the park. But I'm a believer in what doesn't kill you can drive you slowly insane, and my mental status is clearly on the decline. A few wheels have come off the cart since those previous parties, and I've been slooooooooooooowly losing it a little more each year. By the time Sophie is in college I should be licking walls.

Nevertheless, I'm going to try to pull my ass together enough to crank out this year's cake. Thank goodness she did not request a "theme cake" but asked for "just a birthday cake." A really fancy one, of course. Fine. I let her choose from between these two:

She chose the jellybean cake, which is good because you can sort of imagine the frosting disaster the other one could turn into. Especially with the icing bag in my shaky hands.

Did I mention that I'm sick? Woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat. Oh, well. Should be easier than the three-year-old party when I had pneumonia. The party will go on, but wish me luck!


Monica said...

Mormon cake...LOL! You are crazy, and my prayers are with you. ;-)

lisagh said...

40 (children)
+ (40 x 2) (number of parents per child)
+ 20 (guesstimation that maybe each child has 1/2 a sibling)

I'm no math genius, but to me, it looks like you've invited ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE to this little shindig of yours.

God be with you, my friend.

Anonymous said...

I'm sending you a hug, my friend. That Sophie is one lucky gal!!

Sabina said...

you are off your nut. isn't anyone away for spring break? and did it occur to you that birthday blondies might be the way to feed 50+ people? i know you could make those in your sleep. why didn't you begin the party at 7:00 just a mere hour before many a bed time, that would have been strategic! this is all about present quantity you know, as ms. sophie told me last week and i quote "9 more days til' present time"

i'll help clean up!

Anonymous said...

My dear, yes you are sick... sick in the head clearly. 40 children??? And their parents??? And judging by Sophie's past birthday extravaganzas this is an acute condition. You are seriously either the greatest mom in the history of the world... or you need help.

Bonne chance!

Belle in Bloom said...

Good luck!! I'm sure it will be amazing. We had the pirate ship cake with rolos, too. It was for my little one when he turned 3. However, I had a caterer make it. I couldn't imagine what it would have looked like if I had made it. After he opened his presents, he said, "Mommy, tell all these people to leave. I'm done." Ah, good times...

The Mrs. said...

You are the ultimate party planner! I am so impressed with the creativity with your past parties and the current disc one! Plus the fact you can make those cakes! Religious or not! LOL

gwendomama said...

if it makes you feel any better, i just threw up for you.
just the thought.

and seriously? that LDS cake? omg i am to shame and you are uninvited to the party for fear of losing cake face.


hang tight.
don't cough on the jelly beans.
we love you soph (don't eat the outer layer honey).

tulipmom said...

Insane? Perhaps ..... ok, definitely .... but can you just imagine Sophie 30 years from now thinking back and remembering how incredible these parties were .... yeah, it's all worth it. I hope you feel better by Friday.

jilly said...

Oh I hope you feel better! It sounds like fun! I am sure the parents will really enjoy this and the music as well! Chicken Dance?

From the sounds of things you are an old pro. I think by the time she turns 18 you will be a professional party planner. I cannot wait for her to get married! You will be a planning genius!

KK said...

What fun parties! My parents never had birthday parties for us. It was always a family dinner and that was it.

Good luck with the dance party. I'm sure Sophie will LOVE it!

KatieGirlBlue said...

To put it in familiar terms, you'll outride this avalanche. And earn "Coolest Mom in the Bay Area" in the process.

Trish said...

Oy! Not insane.... but maybe delirious. Those cakes are amazing though! Sophie is one lucky girl.

I'll be thinking of you in July as we attempt to recreate "Candy Land" in the backyard (in Florida!) for my daughter's 6th b-day.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

You are a rock star mom!

Good Gravy - that cake looks like alot of work!

Anonymous said...

You are such a freakin' cool mom, Cindy!

Good luck with the party and the lovely jelly bean cake (I'm salivating at the photo)!

Jenn said...

Forty?....as in 40?! OMG. I'll just say this: you. are. brave.
But in the process you will go down as coolest mom ever.

Pop lots of vitamin C between now and Friday! You'll need it :) Hope you're feeling better soon, my friend.

Kate said...

Insane but awesome! Do you think you could email me some instructions/tips on doing the pirate cake? We are doing a pirate theme b'day for my dad in June.

Angelina said...

I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree that you are insane. I'm shivering at the thought of this party. Children's birthday parties (especially the ones I have to throw) give me hives.

At least it's not at your house though.

Wall licking was a masterpiece of imagery. I'm going to suddenly start laughing all day long when that image floats into my head.