Friday, September 19, 2008

She who should be nameless

I'm talking about Sarah Palin, of course. Because it is just NOT GOOD to keep talking about her. I get too angry and have fantasies about beating the crap out of her, which end badly because then she shoots me with a high-powered rifle. And it prevents everyone from talking about THE ISSUES of the campaign and the people who are actually running for the main office (remember those guys?). I think it's time to move on, and I've got a plan.*

The next time someone makes a remark about Sarah Palin her, just look at them blankly and respond with "Who? No, I'm not aware of anyone by that name. Did you hear what Joe Biden just said about McCain's years of anti-regulation stance concerning the financial markets? The stance he changed to pro-regulation, oh, just yesterday afternoon? Let's sit down and talk about this some more. Let me buy you a drink."

But I'm willing to grant one exception for discussing her and invoking her name: Ridicule. If you want to make fun of her or watch other people make fun of her, that's ok. Because it would truly be a crime to forgo watching Sarah Benincasa's YouTube impersonations** of Sarah Palin that person.***

Sarah Benincasa (you can say that name all you want according to my plan!) started her series of vlogs shortly after the Republican convention and has been cranking them out ever since. It would not be a waste of time to view all of them. 

This is the first:



And I like this one a lot because Dina Heath Barr, formerly off-stage, comes out for a little action. 



And while we're having fun at Sarah Palin's &*#%^'s**** expense, here's a little joke someone forwarded me that we can play on her while helping a good cause at the same time:
We may have thought we wanted a woman on a national political ticket, but the  joke has really been on us, hasn't it?  Are you as sick in your stomach as I am at the thought of Sarah Palin as Vice President of the United States?
  
Since Palin gave her speech accepting the Republican nomination for the Vice Presidency, Barack Obama's campaign has raised over $10 million dollars.  Some of you may already be supporting the Obama campaign financially; others of you may still be a little honked off over the primaries.  None of you, however, can be happy with Palin's selection, especially on her positions on women's issues.  

So, if you feel you can't support the Obama campaign financially, may I suggest the following fiendishly brilliant alternative? Make a donation to Planned Parenthood.***** In Sarah Palin's name. And here's the good part:  when you make a donation to PP in her name, they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor.  Here's the link to the Planned Parenthood website:
       
     http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
       
You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the "in Sarah Palin's honor" card.  I suggest you use the address for the McCain campaign headquarters, which is:
       
     McCain for President
     1235 S. Clark Street
     1st Floor
     Arlington, VA 22202
       
Feel free to send this along to all your friends and urge them to do the same.
That sounds like fun, doesn't it? It's so important to stay positive!

* I thank the mother of my friend Gina for this strategy, which not only accomplished her objective but has given us one more excellent Ann story to enjoy.

** My deepest thanks to friend and blogger Gwendo for bringing this important material to my attention, as well as for buying me the miniature ice cream cones I could not find at my own Safeway. She knows what's important in life.

*** You know, maybe we should give her a symbol like Prince had when he was not Prince. But I can't get my keyboard to produce a wee little middle finger salute. Or a little gun. I'm working on it. 

**** How does that work for you?

***** Planned Parenthood is spending a lot of money fighting a proposition on California's November ballot requiring a waiting period and parental consent for young women to have access to abortion. And I don't think you had to grow up in my house to know how important defeating this is. Although that would surely help.

17 comments:

Elliott said...

Brilliant! I already donate to PP but maybe I'll donate a wee bit more in honor of She-who-will-not-be-named.

Kate said...

Hilarious! A friend sent me the idea about the PP donation yesterday - fantastic idea!!

Carla said...

Love your plan to divert talk of She-who-will-not-be-named to actual discussion of ISSUES. It's so wild and crazy it just might work! :-) Count me in.

Jen Yu said...

CLASSIC! What a lovely idea. Thanks for the vid links, hi-larious. My own take on this is anyone who mentions HER name and isn't an obvious supporter of the candidates who use their brains for Good, will get punched square away in the mouth, by me. Stupid is soooo yesterday...

Angelina said...

I think the planned parenthood donation is so effing brilliant I almost peed my pants with excitement the first time I heard about this which was last night at a friend's house. (I really don't pee my pants when I laugh hard.)

I'm pretty broke these days but I have a couple of possible sales on Etsy this week so maybe I can dedicate one of them to PP in SP's name.

I just about said something very ugly about SP and stopped myself. A proud moment.

Sara Benincasa said...

I used to work for Planned Parenthood Federation of America! So this idea does my heart good. I'm going to link to this entry, not just for the usual shameless self-promotional purposes either!

Tonia said...

Excellent! We do not name her either, although my boyfriend does call her "the gorilla from Wasilla" with no disrespect to the noble gorilla intended. I will definitely be using the "divert to discussion" strategy while at work and am writing a check to Planned Parenthood tonight! Thanks! Tonia

Me, You, or Ellie said...

This is great stuff. I, too, am so sick of the discussion about nothing.

My donation to PP is going to be in Bristol Palin's name, though.

--Ellie

KSK said...

I just made my donation to PP in her (who must not be named) honor. This was the funnest donation I have EVER made!!! Thanks for the tip!

Plus, Benincasa's you-tubes are hilarious!

More, More, More said...

These videos are too funny!

Angelina said...

Holy hell...those are so funny!!! I just watched the videos.

David James said...

I personally prefer to refer to her as "Caribou Barbie."

gwendomama said...

I LOVE SARA B.

and i will post about the same today.

it was a rather busy weekend...sorry getting to it a little teensy bit hungover....i mean....late.

PS - but isn't there a better address to mail these? seems to me the campaign will just see all the PP envelopes and toss em.
SHOCKING ACCUSATION, I KNOW.

Seven Crows said...

Saw your idea on the Mud Flats Forum http://www.themudflats.net/forum/index.php/topic,761.msg3929/topicseen.html#new

and since I regularly support PP - why not give a bit more in honor of Ms Palin. Excellent idea!

The Mrs. said...

I am with you but trying not to be too political on my blog!

White on Rice Couple said...

thank you for this post and video, it made my day. I haven't had a good laugh in so long.

You are just hilarious and REAL. I feel like I already know you by reading your posts over this last half hour.

Now time for me to get back to work!! Yup, I'm still at work, ugh!

Becs said...

Hello, I love your Palin Post, I just vented on my blog about her as well. Great to meet another woman who feels the same. I also have an eight year old (boy). Best, Becs