Monday, September 1, 2008

Oh, the choices!

Astonishing news here at the house of Figs: Husband will be having his first butt scope colonoscopy on Wednesday!! Whoo-hoo! Which means today we dragged out all his prescriptions and instructions and studied up on what needs to be done tomorrow for the clean out. Which we have every reason to think will be very unpleasant in ways I will not describe. Other than to note the single wonderful thing about all this (at least in my eyes):

The flavors! He gets to mix his selection in this big jug, which also has some mysterious powder in it that will facilitate the clean out.


How thoughtful of them to give him a choice of FIVE! When I had my glucose tolerance test when I was pregnant (to tell me what I already knew, which was that I did not have gestational diabetes), the only flavor I was offered was fizzy orange—at room temperature. This concoction Husband can have pleasantly chilled. In a nice glass! With a twist of lemon zest! Or a lime! Really, I don't know what he's complaining about. 

But he's nervous. And scared. And I feel sort of sorry for him. But not sorry enough that I could prevent rolling my eyes when he lamented heading off this morning to "his last yoga class" or thoughtfully offered suggestions of what he would like for "his last meal" tonight. I mean, for heaven's sake, Katie Couric had this done on live television. And a mean little part of me is looking forward to having someone in this family other than me endure an invasive medical procedure. Just to mix it up a little. 

I'm voting for Citrus Berry. What do you think?

20 comments:

Jenn said...

Warning: probably TMI follows, but I can vouch that the cherry is NOT the way to go (think cherry flavored sea-water). I sat on the pot with a barf bucket on my lap. When they say best served chilled, they mean it.

Midge said...

I think he should go tropical with orange pineapple!

NJDecorator said...

I agree with the tropical idea. Kind of like a pina colada with a different type of "kick".

preppy little dress said...

tell your husband - good luck with his colonoscopy! what they give him flavors? that's not fair, i had a myomectomy in january for a fibroid and i had the drink that NASTY stuff w/out a flavor - it was the sickest stuff i ever had to drink, but it did the job -ha! ha! yuck!

Angelina said...

I was going to say cherry, but now that I've read Jenn's comment, maybe that's not a good idea.

I hope he finds that all is healthy in there.

At least, no matter what else, he'll be feeling light as a feather.

Mrs.Preppy said...

I would go with the pineapple one...

purpleflowers said...

It may be too late to say this, but in my own experience, it is much better to eat light for 2-3 days before the procedure. It makes the "night before" less of a bathroom nightmare.

lisagh said...

Good luck to hubby and good for him for having this done!

Sabina said...

It all sounds nasty. My sister had to drink about a gallon of Gatorade, but they said not the red stuff, so as to mistake it for some other effluence...she did not have the same euphoric cleansing experience that some have...best of luck to the Husband... I'm certain he'll be just fine.

ElleBee said...

Good luck to hubby! On another note, check out my "other" blog: http://enthusiastically-ellebee.blogspot.com/2008/09/you-like-me.html
I've left a surprise for you! :)

A. said...

Hope it went well! My dad had one recently, and I heard allllll about it.

The Food Librarian said...

good luck to your hubby. i would go tropical flavors and add lots of lime. my friend recommends "really nice" toilet paper. not time for that cheapy stuff. she even got that 'lotioned' TP.

Mo said...

You made this even seem interesting!

My vote would be pineapple.

KSK said...

Citrus berry. This has GOT to taste better than barium "shakes." Which are OH so foul. Good luck to your spouse!

Red Flashlight said...

They should really consider Margarita flavor. I bet none of the flavors are particularly good - it's not technically food, after all. Poor thing! Sending you wishes for good health.

gwendomama said...

i think i would have mixed the cherry with lemon.

but jenn's comment has me wondering now....

gwendomama said...

oh and BTW, my friend who has to have this procedure WAY MORE OFTEN than you can comfortably handle, says that there is only one thing worse than not getting cleaned out.
That would be NOT getting cleaned out enough, having the doc withdraw the pooptube and say...ummm....we'll have to try again due to....low visibility.

MMM said...

I just had the clear stuff and mixed it with ginger ale---no matter how you do it is is SO not fun! Make sure you buy him the very soft toilet tissue and some good magazines. =)

Duchess said...

My Dr. told me I could use the lemonade Crystal Light which is A LOT better than those flavor packs. By the way, they reminded me of those Baby Alive food packs.

Deb said...

I think I'd go with lemon lime. Let us know what happens!