Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Advice needed:
Fairies and pierced ears a
reasonable combination?

Being blissfully oblivious to the economic recession, Sophie has already settled on what she would like for her birthday. Which is in March. Didn't we just finish Christmas???

Oh, well. It's always good to plan ahead. Here is what's on her list:

She got a few of these fairies from Santa Claus, and I gave her cousin the carousel. Sophie would like a few more fairies and the carousel to add to her fairy Ferris wheel to make a fairy amusement park. Good enough.

She would also like this "-ology" book. We have a few of these books, and they are really fun. Lots of pop-ups and little compartments where you can lose yourself for hours. We always like books.

But she also would like . . . to get her ears pierced. NO! I shriek without giving it any consideration at all. But I'm willing to consider it. She will be nine. I had thought ten. She has her arguments marshaled.

Serena has pierced ears! I am not impressed. You, I point out, are not Serena.

And yes, I have pierced ears as well. But I wear thong underwear, walk around the house while brushing my teeth, and use bad words (not often at the same time). I am a grown-up and get to do all sorts of things that kids do not.

But, really. Am I completely out of step here? When is an appropriate age? Anyone?

Thanks for your help.


five tomatoes said...

I was seven when I got my ears pierced and at the time I think I was the last girl in my grade to get them. My parents "rewarded" me for going some period of time without sucking my thumb at night by letting me get it done.

I think nine is an okay age -- when I was working retail I saw a lot of babies and very young girls with pierced ears and that didn't seem appropriate, but Sophie is old enough to take care of the new piercing herself so it might even be a good learning experience for her.

Mom on the Run said...

I pierced my own ears when I was in the 4th grade because my mom wouldn't let me get them pierced. And EVERYONE had pierced ears. I mean EVERYONE (drama queen). Yes, I stuck a big darning needle right in my earlobe without even an ice cube for numbing.

The bad part about that is that my holes are not centered and I developed a nickel allergy so I can't wear cheap jewelry.

So, with that experience, I told my girls that they should tell me when they thought they wanted to get their ears pierced and I wouldn't say "no", but we'd think about it for awhile and make sure they really wanted it done.

I honestly can't remember how old either of them were, but it was in elementary school.

notes from the ordinary said...

I don't think there really is an appropriate time to get your ears pierced. I pierced my daughters ears when she was a baby. She is a completely self-absorbed obnoxious teenager, but I don't think the earrings have anything to do with that! Let her get her ears piecered. It is a good way to teach responsibility. She will have to clean and turn them everyday for the first several weeks.
Remember the more you make off limits the more she has to rebel against!

Anonymous said...

I was ten, as was my little sister. We're planning on making the girls wait until they are in junior high. I say 12, DH says 13. We'll see who wins this one.

Of course Miss E seems determined to grow up with or without my permission. Two days ago she came home and announced that Carter had kissed her and insisted that she kiss him back. (You can imagine the discussion we had following that little insight.) Before the break, she came home and announced that both Kenny and Lucas wanted to be her boyfriend. Her solution - she had them have a contest where they dug holes in the snow. Whoever had the deepest hole got to be her boyfriend. (Primitive, I know. But rather ingenious too.) Ingenuity aside, we informed her that she is not allowed to have a boyfriend. Sometimes I wish there was an all girls school in our area!

J said...

When I was 8, ALL my friend and I wanted was to get our ears pierced. Her mother finally relented midway through third grade; my mother cruelly made me wait until my 10th birthday.

I think nine is probably fine. But I don't think there would be any harm in making her wait either.

KK said...

Awww! I definitely think nine is okay. I want to say I was ten when I got mine pierced. But I couldn't wear "funky" earrings until I was a few years older. My mom was very strict about that. Maybe that is why, to this day, I really don't go the funky route. :)

Tonia said...

I was 9 or ten. I think it was more that my mom wanted me to have pierced ears more than I did. She also let me wear makeup in 4th grade, she would apply it. Makeup and jewelry were bigger deals to her than to me. I never got into make up, other than lipgloss (Bonnie Bell!) My ears are still pierced, but more often than not I forget to wear earrings. Kind of sad as I have an extensive collection.
On the other hand my cousin who had very strict parents ended up pregnant at 15 and went onto some dubious career choices. Not that there is a connection, I am just sayin.' I personally think the earring thing isn't that big of a deal. She'll learn to take care of them or suffer red, painful earlobes. Now tattoos at that age would be where I draw the line. (:

carolyn said...

The appropriate age is when ever you deem it. That said, I always it it good to let our children ("who have everything" so to speak) yearn and wait for some things. Telling her she has to wait until she's ten will make it more special and allow her "time to be brave"

Broady said...

I was 8 or 9, but had very strict rules about the type of earrings I could wear... like only small studs with a little pearl, or gemstone until I was 11 or 12-- definitely no dangling earrings or more grown up fashions. Similar- I was allowed to wear chapstick and clear lip gloss, but no makeup until I was 14. It's funny, because now that I'm an adult, I pretty much wear the same pearl or diamond studs and the only makeup I prefer to wear is lip gloss (with a smudge of blush since I'm so pale).

Kazumi said...

I had mine pierced at 10. I think 9 is okay. The problem I have is when parents get their babies ears pierced. I realize it's a Latin tradition, but I think it's only respectful to ask the person who is getting pierced if they want holes in their bodies. You can't ask a 3 month old.

I'm more curious about the thong thing. I find those SO uncomfortable . With your good humor, I'd like to see you do a post on that!

Have a great day!

Tickled Pink And Green said...

My oldest was 10. It makes for a special treat since 10 is sorta a milestone birthday of sorts. :)

Purple Flowers said...

I was 10.
You could think of it as:
1. times have changed and 9 isn't too too young
2. Tickled also made a point; 10 is a milestone marker.

What happens at 10, if she gets them pierced at 9?

Jen Yu said...

Well, here's a decidedly different take on the matter... I wanted to get my ears pierced when I was a kid. My mom said not until I was 16 (hey, it's MY MOM we're talking about...). By the time I was 12, I wanted to have my ears pierced about 60 times on each ear. By the time I got to 16, I didn't want my ears pierced (field hockey and volleyball were far more important) and they're still unpierced 21 years later and I like that. I mean, I've had a hunk of my boobie removed, had my left armpit lymph nodes taken out, my appendix removed leaving a giant C-section-esque scar, radiation burns on my left boobie, a port scar below my right collarbone... I don't need self-mutilation, my doctors have done plenty as it is ;)

ElleBee said...

Oh, I remember this conversation (argument) with my parents. I was FINALLY allowed to get them pierced at age 9. My SIL had both nieces' ears pierced at birth and she's kind of a freak about making sure they have different earrings in every day. I have boys. Thank you, God.

Always Organizing said...

I was 12 when I got my ears pierced. My mom held out for a long time, but finally gave in when I turned 12.

KSK said...

When my daughter asked for pierced ears at 8 or 9 I thought it would be a good point to give in on. She wore earrings for a year or so and got tired of them until just recently when she went into middle school.

I did say no to the pony. ;)

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

My parents told me I had to wait until I was 13. I got them pierced for my 7th birthday though in the middle of the mall. Very 80's fabulous! I think now they can do both ears at once- do that for sure!! Because after she gets the first ear done she is going to scream before she lets you do the second ear. You will be standing there feeling terrible for Sophie and debating if its really that bad that your kids might walk away looking like a nine year old pirate with only one ear finished. Oh my mom also bought me ice cream before and held the cup up to my ear to take the sting off. Sounds odd but I think it's just one of those mom things. Just a suggestion....

JoAnne said...

Go for it. Mine got hers pierced this past Christmas (age 8.5). She takes care of them entirely by herself. Been going great. Said no to my 11 year old son to get one ear pierced (Barack Obama doesn't have a pierced ear, I said). My earrings, however, are off limits without written permission. Have fun!

Pinky said...

My mother wanted my sister and I to wait to get our ears pierced. I can't remember the magic age we were to have permission now (it may have been sixteen), but my sister ended up getting hers a little early. Probably in middle school. She was always concerned with fitting in. As a child I anxiously counted down the days until I too could wear earrings, but by the time I was old enough I lost interest. I'll be 27 next week, and while I have a couple of tattoos and for a few years I had two other "items" pierced, my ears remain whole. And I like it, it makes me feel different in a very subtle secret way. So I'm glad my mom made me wait.