Friday, August 8, 2008

Some of the very best news

We got it last night at my book group meeting: Two girlfriends of mine got married. They did a simple ceremony with close family at their house the other weekend, and a larger proper wedding and reception will take place in October. They wanted to be sure they got the legal part taken care of in case the good people of California do something really stupid in November; Jerry Brown, the state attorney general, has said that even if the amendment restricting marriage passes, he will not consider the marriages entered into before November invalidated.

This couple started dating before Husband and I, but I remember a party long ago where we were both the new couples, and one of my girlfriends and I were being introduced to a large, crazy group of long-established friends we now think of as family. It's always seemed wrong to me though that we're married and they're not. Not that over the years I've ever thought of them as less a couple than any of us who have been able to marry legally. In fact, they have always had what looked to me like one of the most supportive loving relationships among any of us.

But now, how awesome it is to see them with rings on their fingers. Glowing with happiness. Planning a celebration.

Sophie was so happy when I told her this morning. Her eyes flew open, and she dove beneath her covers to wiggle with delight. Whenever she sees something on the news about gay marriage, she asks "Does this mean that [our friends] will get married?" I've told her that it probably does and tried to explain that although this is the way it always should have been, it is not something that we can take for granted. Many people have worked tirelessly for this, and there is still a fight ahead in terms of legal challenges but also in terms of opening the minds and hearts that those who feel threatened. Threatened by love—go figure.

But they say that children see things most clearly, right? And I think Sophie does. In spite of what I've tried to teach her about how this applies to civil rights and larger issues, to her it's just a wedding, like any other. A wonderful, joyful celebration. An occasion to wear a pretty dress. But most importantly, just two people in love, forever. She's right.

9 comments:

Red Flashlight said...

Woot! Very smart - I get it! Added bonus: this way they can be legally married and still "stick it to the man" in a public ceremony.

Libby said...

Sending many congratulations to your friends!

MsMVNJ said...

That's great news! I have a family member who's been part of a couple for years - I wish they were in a location that honored their relationship.

Jackie said...

That is so sweet. I'm very happy for your friends and definitely can understand being part of watching that kind of love grow. I am glad my loved one is in CA as well but hopefully, like you said, the law won't change anytime soon.

ElleBee said...

All the best to your friends! I have to say, being a midwestern girl, I was a bit confused, as I couldn't figure out why the atty. general would ever, in a million years, restrict marriage passes, not realizing that you were talking about the controversy of same-sex marriages. I think it's wonderful that Sophie sees these two ladies as just another couple professing their love.

Angelina said...

It gives me goosebumps to think of such a momentous time. I also think it's awful that the law keeps wavering. Why on earth anyone should feel threatened by love and commitment will remain a twisted mystery to me.

OK, I don't live in a box and I know what the argument against it is...but when you're standing in front of real people I don't see how you can see evil where love and partnership and respect are staring back at you.

I'm so happy your friends are taking advantage of this momentous bit of human progress!

Yahoo for love!

Polo Mama to Girls said...

Love is always a good thing. Congrats to your friends!

Broady said...

Ha- I had to re-read the first two sentences about three or four times before I "got it"-- until then, I was thinking that your friends had a double wedding at one of their family's homes, and I was thinking "Huh? They must be *really* close friends!"

Guess I temporarily forgot you live in CA ; ) Congrats to the happy brides !

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

How exciting- congrats to your friends!